Last year I had a convergence moment where a bunch of different areas of research and curiosity (self-help, psychology, game theory, neurobiology, social networking, and goal-making) all came together.  I realized that there were things in common between these different topics and that spurred me on to look into a bunch of different self-altering exercises like going on meditation retreats, half-marathons, juice fasts, landmark forums, and scientology centers.  I found a common thread between them all, a philosophy about life that led to higher highs and lower lows.  About living in the moment, vulnerably, with good intentions, while gathering momentum, and with big gambling. 

Yesterday, I had another similar moment of convergence that builds on the same idea.  It's a bit more subtle, and includes a different set of ideas (things like diet, body language, etiquette, emotions, facial expressions, yoga, fashion, and habit-forming).  It's an everyday routine sort of convergence, it's a game in the present moment.  Whimsy, play, surprise, and style.  It's all the big ideas without the big story.  It's aesthetics, and mindset, and experience.  I went out and bought 3 books: The Definitive Book of Body Language, The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy and Vice, and The Vice Guide to Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll.  They're reference materials for something that I can just see in my periphery.  A new attitude.  Or maybe, just one step further than the attitude I already had.  In essence, it's not about what's done, but about the way it's done.  "The way you do any thing is the way you do everything."  Etc.

I want it to come together and get expressed somehow, in my way.  Make a mashed potato monument in its name.  Not let it slip away, as these moments sometimes do (I have a lot of them at the gym, and they're usually gone by the time I get home, once my heart rate settles back down to normal levels). 

I bought this book yesterday that has a guide to finding yourself. I've got mixed feelings about finding oneself, mostly because I don't know exactly what it means, but if someone asked me if I've found myself, I'd probably say yes. What would you say?